Thursday, February 8, 2018

A Look At Forgiveness

Sometimes it is hard to sit and write a blog.  Sometimes it is because you are busy and your brain is going in tons of directions.  Other times it is hard because you feel like you are supposed to write about hard subjects.  That is me right now.  I know what I should be writing about...God keeps putting it on my heart, I keep reading about it in the books I am reading, and the topic keeps popping up in other areas too.  That is how I know it is what I should be writing about, but the hard part is that writing about my topic means baring my soul which is always scary because you never know people's reactions.  So if you are reading this, I ask you to be kind if you choose to comment.
A Look At Forgiveness, A Glimpse of Normal Blog, Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the topic on my heart right now.  This is a topic that I have really struggled with and one I have wrestled with writing about for many reasons.  Forgiveness is the act of forgiving according to the dictionary which lead me to look up "forgive" so I can explain what is on my heart to you.  Forgive can mean to cease to feel resentment against an offender, to give up the resentment, or to grant relief from payment of according to Merriam-Webster.  I am by no means an expert on forgiveness nor am I a great example of forgiveness.  It is just a topic that I feel like God is really putting on my heart so that I work on forgiving, I become aware of giving and getting forgiveness, and it will lead me to more joy which is what I seek.

Through a couple of books I have read lately and a couple of Bible studies I have been watching with my teen son, I have been reminded of some important things about forgiveness and I have learned some new things about it too.  There are several situations in my life where I have tried and tried to give forgiveness, but the more I learn about it, the more I learn that I have not truly forgiven everyone involved in the situations.  Sometimes it is myself that I haven't forgiven and sometimes it is other people.  I really hate admitting this especially as a Christian because it isn't what we are supposed to do, but I am still human and struggle with areas of my life which is a reminder to me that God isn't done working in and on me and my life.

One of the main things lately that I have learned is that I can't say that I forgive someone and hold the pain, bitterness, and bad feelings against the person that hurt me.  This doesn't mean that I won't still feel hurt in a situation because sometimes we do get hurt and it takes time to let go of the hurt.  It means that when I say I forgive someone I have to make a choice.  I either truly let go of the offense or I choose to hold on to the hurt, disappointment, and bitterness.  If I choose to hold on to all the bad things it isn't doing anything to the one who hurt my feelings.  That disappointment and bitterness doesn't make that person angry or keep them awake at night it only hurts me.  No one can feel my grudge but me.  I can't keep acting hurt or play the victim when I truly forgive, if I do these things then I haven't truly forgiven.  Forgiveness doesn't mean that I won't be more cautious with a person because I don't want to get hurt again, but it does mean that I let go of the situation or the offense and I don't feel resentment towards that person.  This is no easy task that is why I have God to help me. 

I am so happy that I have God to help me with forgiveness because there are times that on my own, I would choose to hold a grudge, its the human in me.  I thought about this and what right do I have to hold a grudge when I have a perfect example of someone who has every right to hold a grudge, yet He chose forgiveness instead.  Think of it, Jesus has every right in the world according to human standards to hold a grudge.  He was sinless, blameless, and didn't deserve to die the horribly cruel death on the cross that He did.  He did nothing to warrant the cross, yet people blamed Him, lied about Him, and attacked Him.  He had every right to disown all people forevermore, but He didn't instead He took a punishment He didn't earn and He showed that He loved us more than we deserve.  He even asked for forgiveness for us before He died on the cross.  Thankfully He rose again 3 days later.  He didn't have to do any of that, but He did.  He followed God's will for Him and He showed what true forgiveness is.  If Jesus can do that, I can let go and forgive too.

There are some situations where you may not be able to ask someone for forgiveness or be able to tell someone that you forgive them maybe due to death or it is not safe to be around that person.  You can still forgive that person in your heart and let go of their offense so that you may heal.  God knows the true intentions of our heart and He can provide healing.  All of that being said, I have been working on giving forgiveness to the situations I have been holding on to.  I have been realizing that I have been the one holding on to the offenses in these situations and I have been praying and covering them with forgiveness and asking forgiveness for holding on to the grudge so that I could play the victim for so long.  God is good and gracious and He is showing me His forgiveness and bringing healing.  I know that the healing will eventually lead to the joy I seek.  God is good all of the time.

6 comments:

  1. I know that forgiveness is a hard thing to do and sometimes forgetting is even harder when the devil tries to bring the situation up and make us replay it over and over. Life is hard sometimes and being bitter does not make the day any brighter. So if I ever did anything to add to your being bitter please forgive me and let go of your past honey. I love you with all of my heart and will never, never let you go. You got this and we love you

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  2. Thank you for sharing your heart! I, too, struggle with forgiving. I try to tell myself it's ok to hold onto the bitterness if the offender is still treating me poorly, but I need to forgive them anyway. I love your statement about it hurting me, not them. I'm still praying daily for God to continue to mold me and make me like Him. I will be praying for you in this area specifically. Love to you!

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  3. So beautiful, and so true. I pray for forgiveness everyday for any harm I have done to anyone and I I to forgive those who have hurt me. Sometimes it takes along time to let it go, but in the long run we are only hurting ourselves. God is Good, he will get you through this journey.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, it really has helped me today. Again Thank you

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    1. Love you Peggy and you are right sometimes it does take along time, but in the end we have to give it all to God.

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