Tuesday, March 13, 2018

A Review of Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think from Parenting Made Practical

As a parent the last thing you want to do is to lecture your kids, but let's be real and honest, it is one way we try to deal with our kids' behavior.  I know I have used it and I feel terrible when I do. So I jumped at the chance to review Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think book and DVD from Parenting Made Practical.  I was hoping this book and DVD would give me some answers for how I could be a more effective parent and I was not disappointed.
Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think Book, parenting, dating, courting, thinking
Parenting Made Practical was created by Joey and Carla Link.  They are parenting educators who want to help your family.  They have over 20 years of family ministry experience.  Their backgrounds in youth and family ministries and social work along with raising their own family have helped them create many resources for parents and families. Along with all the books and DVDs they have created, they speak at conferences and churches around the country.

The Taming the Lecture Bug book features 12 chapters and 2 appendices along with a bibliography and recommended resources.  In total it has 160 pages.  Each chapter offers practical advise, example situations, scripture references, and solutions to use to stop lecturing your kids and get them to think for themselves.   Included in the appendices are a detailed method of "The Repentance, Forgiveness and Restoration Process" that is mentioned several times through out the book and the "Re-Training a Stubborn Heart" chart that was used in an earlier chapter.  The methods and solutions in this book are designed for children ages 8 and up.  The DVD is 53 minutes long and has a printable study guide that can be used along with it.
I will admit that I am a lecturer when it comes to correcting my kids.  This is why this book and DVD appealed to me so much.  I know my kids tune me out when I start lecturing, but what I didn't know was how to stop.  My kids are good kids and they are obedient in most areas, but like all kids they have their bad days where they push to the limits.  I know that them pushing and pleading and trying to do things their own way is what we refer to as a "heart" issue.  The book takes it a step further and says it is a sin issue and when I really started thinking about that, I realized it is true.  When my kids don't do things the way they are told to after they are told and showed how to do things they are being disobedient which is a form of sin.  The disobedience that starts with chores leads to disobedience in other areas of life if we don't correct it.  This made sense to me.  It is little occasions of disobedience that keep happening and keep building that would lead to my lectures before I read this book.  The main point of the book is that we have to stop the lectures and get our kids to take responsibility for their actions.  They can't do this when we are constantly reminding them, rescuing them when the forget things, or assuming we know their answers already.  This is why the book introduces the technique of asking "Why" questions to help your kids work through what they are doing, what is wrong with it, and how they can change it.  This method is best for when kids disobey and not every single thing they do.  The book also teaches you to use all of the methods it teaches in a calm and rational way as opposed to lectures that usually happen in the heat of the moment.
I have been slowly implementing parts of this book in our household with our 9 and 14 year old children.  I don't want to be overwhelmed trying to implement everything at once and I don't want to overwhelm my children by changing everything at once.  However, I do want to teach them to be responsible for their own actions and prepare them for when they are an adult.  This is another reason this book appealed to me.  I want to make sure they are responsible adults and I won't always be around to remind them to grab everything before heading out the door or to take care of chores.  We actually started focusing on this at the beginning of the year by dividing up chores for our kids to do and they paying them allowance.  This was working well at first, but as they got a couple of months into their chores they were starting to forget and I found myself nagging them to finish everything.  While reading the book I had a thought, I create a to-do list every day of things I need to get done so why don't I have my kids do this?  When they get up every day, they create their own to-do list of everything they need to get done before they go to bed at night.  Now I don't have to nag them and they actually both respond well to having their own list that they created.  I have also been using the technique from the book of having one of my 9 year old sit out when she is being defiant or having a bad attitude.  She is not a fan of this at all, but she is seeing that I am not going to argue back with her because it doesn't help either of us.  I am still working on implementing some of the other parts of this book and adapting some of them to fit better for us.  I think that is the beauty of this book I can make it work for us and our parenting beliefs.
Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think DVD
The Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think book and DVD can be used independently of each other, but in my opinion it is beneficial to have and use both resources.  Why?  It was beneficial to me to not only read the information for myself, but also to see Joey and Carla explain the information.  It helped cement the ideas of their teaching in my head.  Joey walked through a specific situation by role playing with his daughter on the DVD.  He pointed out where parents typically start acting from emotions rather than facts and how children will respond to that versus the right way to react to what your child has done and get them to take responsibility for their actions.  Seeing this specific visual representation made the concept stick in my mind and I can stop myself from acting from emotions the next time my child misbehaves and react properly to the situation.  Watching the DVD after reading the book like I did was a good way to refresh what I read and make sure that I understood their methods.  The DVD had a fantastic explanation of the temperaments of children and it really helped me to figure out which of these temperaments are strongest in each of my children.  Knowing this helps me handle the situations with each of them in a way best suited to their temperament.  There is even a printable study guide on the website that you can print and fill out while you watch the DVD.  I will definitely watch the DVD again in the future as a way to refresh my mind with how I should be responding to my kids in an effective manner.

If you are a parent that lectures your kids, then I would recommend reading through this book or watching the DVD or both.  I appreciate the wisdom that the Links shared and I definitely want to check out some of their other resources like Dating, Courting & Choosing a Mate...What Works? since we are approaching that age range in our home.  You can learn more about Parenting Made Practical and all they have to offer on their website, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  You can learn more about the Taming the Lecture Bug and Getting Your Kids to Think book here and the DVD here.  You will definitely want to click the banner below to read the reviews from my friends on the Homeschool Review Crew because we got the chance to review many products for this review.  I know I definitely want to read the reviews so I know what other resources to add to my reading list.
Parenting Made Practical {Reviews}

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